


I don't want to be heard (I want to be listened to)

by LoudandDangerous



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Mute Tyler, YouTube, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-05-02 12:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5248094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoudandDangerous/pseuds/LoudandDangerous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Under the lost cat fliers and lawn services, Tyler placed the small note. An advertisement looking for a friend because he was lonely and needed somebody to talk to. He was alright with being alone, but sometimes that isn't enough.</p><p>He just didn't expect anyone to answer.</p><p>Not a sweet boy with a crinkly smile who spilled black coffee all over the flier. Certainly not a sweet boy who was famous not the internet.</p><p>(Or, The AU where Josh is a YouTuber on house arrest and Tyler is an idiot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [troubledsouls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/gifts).



> You ever seen the kudos on my works? Minecraftwarcat is always leaving comments and kudos and junk so you know what? THEY DESERVE A GIFT.
> 
> So wherever Minecraftwarcat is right now, thank you. I would personally like to say thank you.

A contribution to the class is not in Tyler's priorities. His priorities differ from others.  _They_ don't constantly ward off the thoughts that will put him 6 feet underground,  _They_ don't feel like talking will bother others around them,  _They_ don't have to take pills to get rid of demons.  _They aren't Tyler Joseph, they don't care what others think about them._ Tyler feels he cares to much, anxiety gets the best of him most days. 

 

There's quiet chatter amongst the class, Tyler is afraid they're talking about him.

 

Nobody really notices he's there, Mr. Urie's called his name 7 times but he's afraid to answer. He's shaking, it feels like he's teetering and his chair is going to tip over constantly. Like going into a garage and not seeing your car, it gets worse throughout the day. He cracks a smile when he pulls up his hoodie, turning on his phone and slowly swiping through apps, fingers trembling on the touch screen. He types letter after letter, he's just trying to get away from the demons. He drowns the smile, but not to a frown, just a tight pressed line when he taps a specific video.

 

 _"Good morning, My Clique!"_ Tyler smiles slowly, knowing that the term Clique makes him feel warm inside. Like it's a second home. Especially after  _him._ _Him,_ SpookyJim, who's real name is Josh but that's not important. He turns in his chair, pursing his lips as Tyler watches.  _"So_ _…don't you think it's weird that we all talk about sleep, but we never actually sleep? I mean, my Tumblr blog only talks about sleeping and fluffy dogs, but I have insomnia for a matter of fact, I never want to sleep anyway and I'm a cat person. Send me your cats. I want to pet your cats."_ He bluntly states, Tyler tugs on his beanie just a little.  _"I will be your best friend if you let pet your cat or cats, because 's' indicates plural and the more cats, the better. They don't have cats in_ _juvy, that's going to be my next topic. Bring cats to juvy. If I am an avid habitué of juvy about 17 times within the last year, then I think they should let me bring cats."_ Tyler calms, no more voices singing a chorus in the back of his mind. Tyler writes on his whiteboard, some thoughts on SpookyJim.

 

-He's cute.

-He lives in another state.

-He wears flower crowns and likes cats.

-Why is he so beautiful?

 

Tyler leaves slowly once the bell rings, carrying his whiteboard and books, phone leaning atop his textbook. He storms through like a vignette looms around him, nobody else feels this way. Headphones put in when he sits at the lunch table, poking dismally at his salad. He doesn't bother eating, he feels too gross.  _Why?_

 

 _"Okay, so when I was younger, I wanted to kidnap Aaron Carter. Like, just take him home, not do anything to him, just make him sing the Jimmy Neutron soundtrack. You know? On the subject of childhood, why is it that we have this one smell that brings us back to_ _kindergarten? And you can't fuckin' sell it because nobody else knows it like you do. Like, 'you aren't experiencing this fragrance right, it's not supposed to remind you of a field trip, it's supposed to remind you of the day Edward tripped on the playground!'  I guess it's time for science."_ He shrugs, Tyler blushes when he puts on a fake pair of glasses and a bow tie.  _"It is called Olfactory memory, by the way. It's science, it's real. So no, you are not crazy for saying 'you smell like 2005' to somebody. The more you know, My Clique. Now, I have some news for you guys!"_ He high kicks his leg and Tyler screeches internally for the brief thought that  _he is not wearing underwear._ _"The guys down at the police station are taking me off house arrest, so I can actually meet you guys!"_ He smiles, eyes crinkling just a bit at the sides and Tyler is almost gushing over him.  _"If you're fairly local to the Barnes and Noble on the corner of William and Robert, down in punk town Columbus, Ohio, we can hang out."_ Tyler shows no hesitation smiling and thinking if he has any plans to cancel that day.

 

"He's so precious." Tyler mumbles, Brendon darts his head up. He locks eyes with Tyler, lips parted in a gasp. 

 

"Did you just--?" Tyler can see the 'oh my god' in his mind. Tyler's face goes red, he quickly scribbles  _no_ on the whiteboard, turning it around for Brendon to see. "…you spoke."  _he's going to make a big deal out of everything now._ "Oh my god." Tyler sits as Brendon leaves the table, dragging Ryan to follow him. "Do it again, Ty." He says it like Tyler's his animal. It disgusts Tyler, but he doesn't voice it. Tyler doesn't say anything.

* * *

"I mean, I--I've been better." He yawns, closing his eyes and laying down. "--I guess it's anxiety eating me or maybe it's just the fact that I don't really have any friends? Like, I have friends but they aren't friends, you feel? I--I could tell you a million people I've met in my school, but none of them text or call me. They don't follow me on social media, they say hi in the hallway but they'd never be partners with me in class. There's nothing wrong with me, I just don't really have anybody to share late night conversations with." Tyler shrugs, talking to the wall he devotes his time to staring at. He swings his feet on the foot of the bed, humming a melody to himself. He knows he can't keep the melody for too long. He plays it on piano, retains it better, marks the keys. 

 

I've been inside my head for too long. I might as well start talking to Joy, Anger, Sadness, Disgust and Fear. 

 

He wanders around, he's not lost, just….well, that's a feeling that just as hard to explain as water tastes. There's no real name for it. Catharsis? maybe. There's a small flash of sprint inside, this doesn't happen too often and if it goes away too soon, he doesn't know when it'll come back. He looks up, rolling off the bed and leaving the piano. Fingers dragging lightly on the keys, soft melody playing as a riff. He places the paper down on the table, the songwriting desk with the strange lamp that looks like a skeleton. He pops the cap of the sharpie, thinking before he writes. 

 

Can't be stupid, but then again, putting up a flier asking for a best friend sounds stupid. If not stupid,  _desperate,_ but he needs this. He writes and crosses things out, the lines never perfectly linear, there aren't any lines on the paper, it's blank and that makes writing harder. It starts off good, the line he follows going okay and 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              then

                                                                                       it doesn't.

_[To whom it possibly concerns!_

_My name is ~~Tielr~~ Tyler Joseph and I am looking for a friend. Jeez, _ _that sounds BAD.]_

 

_[To whom it may concern!_

_My name is Tyler ~~Jipjop~~ J ~~ospshe~~ Joseph and nope. nope. not doing this at all.]_

 

_Okay, so real talk time. Friends, I guess we got 'em but I don't. Throw me a pity party if you want, but that's not my concern. I need a friend. Someone to have late night conversations about the meaning of life with. Not boyfriend material, I just need a friend. A best friend, if you will. Here are the basics about me:_

 

_I have eyes. and a mouth. and a face in general. I don't speak, if I do, it's eXTrEMeLY RaRE (like a Pepe the Frog). I like getting stoned in trees, I fuckin' love SpookyJim on Youtube and Chipotle is pretty good but I favor Taco Bell. I like to wear black because my soul is cold and black retains heat. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. My name is Tyler. Tyler Joseph and I guess you don't have to answer this, but if you do, please be serious. I fear the joke more than I fear actual rejection. I guess I'll just leave my number at the bottom if you want it. Stay Street._

 

_-Me. (Tyler Joseph)_

 

He yawns, ripping off the outtakes and looking at the finished product. It's a mess, but a mess he can deal with. He rolls his eyes, folding up the paper in his pocket and slinging his backpack over his shoulder, white straps over a lazily thrown on hoodie. It's not cold outside, it's fairly warm for March. He steps lightly on the ground, wondering how long this good mood is going to last because it might not stay too long. There's a voice telling him inside his mind. Reassuring things because something about Josh's voice is soothing.  _You can do it, Buddy!_ Sometimes that's all Tyler needs.

 

The coffeeshop isn't crowded, but it's not empty. It's warm, scents of vanilla waft albeit strongly through the building. He breezes past the crowd of girls ordering oddly specific drinks and the guys trying to score a date. Looking to the cork board wall of missing cats posters and lawn care services, he pins it under where you'd never find it if you weren't observant. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and leaving. Something about this place screams something awful to Tyler. 

 

_Wow, I probably should've stayed inside my house._

 

He turns on his phone, probably deciding to watch videos until he falls asleep or his phone dies. He takes a deep breath, panic washing over but he calms when he remembers the Barnes and Nobles. Across town where he can finally meet the one person that makes life good for him. He holds the whiteboard in his hands, red and black markers on the sides. It takes a few hours, him warring with himself between watching videos and writing how thoughts down until he decides to take down the flier and rip it into little shreds. Starting on foot, out the house he think's he's heading south.

 

He stays low, opening the doors and feeling his heart flip out his goddamn chest when he sees the note is missing.  _oh god. no. nononnonnonononononononono. Oh my frick._

 

He goes flustered, sliding into a booth and almost shaking.  _they're probably gonna prank call me._ _wouldn't doubt it._ He lays his head down on the table, the darkness outside of the doors seeming to grip Tyler until he feels the tap on his shoulder. He's clutching the flier, wet and crinkled in his hand. Tyler panics, dropping his phone on the floor beside the Caution: Wet Floor sign. Tyler knows him. It's  _him. Owner of the Clique._ Josh. 

 

He puts a hand behind his head, smiling sheepishly. "I--I read the flier. You don't have to say anything, I guess….uh…" Tyler can see awkwardness pouring out of him. Josh sets the flier down on the table, sliding into the booth opposite of Tyler. "….I spilled coffee all over it." He shrugs, looking off to the side. Tyler calms himself, writing small words on the whiteboard.

 

_but theres a bite mark taken out of it_

 

He holds up the flier, pointing to the crescent shape at the left corner, small dashed lines to indicate teeth. 

 

 _did_ _…did you try to eat the paper?_

 

"Wait, heck no. No, my--dog bit it." Tyler smiles, Josh thinks he believed him. That's not it. Tyler's smiling because Josh's videos never talk about a dog. But he does know Josh has a cat. An introverted cat named Spork, who had kittens named Spoon, Fork and Knife. Tyler knows too much about Josh. But maybe it's a good thing that Josh doesn't know anything about Tyler.

 

"I--You know who I am, I'm guessing." He laughs softly, Tyler blushes. "….I'm here to apply for the best friend position." He grins. Tyler nods. "We begin now. _Say hello to your new best friend!"_ Josh smiles and Tyler slips his phone into his pocket, reminding himself to change his wallpaper. It'd be strange to have your new best friend as your pastel wallpaper.

 

Well at least Tyler's got a best friend now.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Doodling on his whiteboard as Josh wanders around the town, running up ahead and his red locks billowing in the wind. Of course, Tyler stays a little behind. Shyly walking, more like shuffling on the sidewalk. "So where do you want to go first?" Josh smiles, a patented smile he uses in all his videos.  _"..best friend?"_ He adds, grinning and Tyler has to open his eyes a little wider. He shrugs, thinking and tapping the marker capped side to his chin. 

 

_theres a yogurt shop downtown_

 

"Then to the yogurt shop we go." He smiles, pulling Tyler and his whiteboard following suit. Josh stops, pacing for a while. _"Where are we going?"_ Tyler points to 6th avenue on Birch and Kilmire. Josh grins again and darts. 

 

It's small, but cozy. Tyler likes the fact that it's a hole in the wall and nobody really knows it's there. Good. Less people. He sits in a booth, Josh buys him the first cup. Sliding into a booth, pulling out his camera. "Besties." He laughs, taking a photo of Tyler. His face turns red, he swallows hard but Josh already posted it to the confusion of his fans. 

 

"So tell me a little about yourself." Josh smiles, Tyler doesn't want to tell him about the fan art, the fan fictions, the odd parts of Josh's personality that turns him on subtly. 

 

_when i was younger i wrote a fanfiction that got popular over time and then another fanfiction came and wasnt even a week old when it surpassed my fanfiction. you ever know that feeling? and i guess i got really jealous so i hacked into the authors account and deleted their fanfiction. I deleted it because i had bad judgement and sometimes i lie awake at night and wonder what happened._

 

He shrugs, Josh begins laughing. "So…you know how to hack into computers and websites, but you use it on….fanfiction?" Tyler nods. 

 

_jealously is a bitch._

 

"And what did this particular fanfiction happen to be about?" This is the part where he panics. Where he freaks out because he can't tell Josh it was a smutty fanfiction about him. Especially because of that. Tyler doesn't write anything down, Josh gets the memo. "Why don't you say anything?" Then he stops, setting the spoon in the cup. "…wait, shit. You don't have to be comfortable sharing that." He confirms, Tyler is already scribbling on the whiteboard.

 

_i've been replaced too many times by saying the wrong thing. i guess it's better not to say anything at all without someone getting butthurt or maybe they just don't care what i think._

 

Josh goes quiet, he doesn't know what he's supposed to say. He checks social media while Tyler finishes his cup, scooping out gummy bears from the bottom.

 

More or less, the comments are mainly about Josh's sexuality and them being concerned about who Tyler is. Then it clicks to Josh.

 

 Josh's fandom wants more of Tyler.

 

 

"What if you did a video with me?'' Josh asks hopefully, Tyler's afraid.

 

_no, that's your thing. I won't overstep you boundaries._

 

"Who says you're overstepping?" Josh smiles as he adjusts the camera. Pointing it to Tyler. "Come on, we've got a video to shoot."

 

_but how can I speak….?_

 

"You don't have to." Josh shrugs, pulling Tyler's chair close. "You can use your whiteboard just as easily." Reassuring Tyler and rolling the mouse over the on button. "Hey guys! Its SpookyJim and...." He tilts his head over to Tyler. "....Blurryface." He nods, Tyler blushes. In the yogurt shop at midnight, Josh posts a video with Tyler and sparks a war on the internet.

 

And that's how SpookyJim, became SpookyJim _and Blurryface_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST SAW THE vID WITH TYLER AND JOSH AT DISNEY AND I CAN'T. I FUCKIN SAW IT WHILE I WAS AT THE LINE IN THE DISNEY STORE AND I FRCIKING DIED.
> 
> PANIC! AT THE DISNEY STORE. RIP ME.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh…hey.

"If you tell that goddamn duck joke again I will personally escort you to a special kind of hell." Josh tips back the chair, running his hands through Tyler's brown locks and eyeing the smirking boy sitting beside him. He bares his teeth playfully before screwing his eyes shut and trying his hardest to stop his smile.

 

_..why did the duck die?_

 

"I'm gonna––" 

 

_he did too much QUACK._

 

"You're an idiot." Josh swats the whiteboard out Tyler's hands, falling back in the chair and clutching his sides. Something about the way Josh looks at Tyler is probably going to start a goddamn war on Tumblr, he knows it. Tyler hits him with the pillow, bending to pick up the marker and whiteboard.

 

_and you're a wizard, harry._

 

Josh pulls up Tyler's hood, gripping him and tossing him to the couch. "Get the fuck out my house." He ducks, slamming Tyler in the face with a pillow and looking to the camera. Tyler internally yells when Josh blushes.  _He's blushing_ _…jesus fuck._ He tilts up the chair, angling the camera and rolling up his sleeves. "So, let's get onto what we're doing today." He recomposes himself, pulling Tyler from the couch. "So, we could go skateboarding over by the park?" Tyler nods, pulling his sweatshirt from the couch. 

  

Josh skates up ahead, swerving and gliding on pavement, briefly looking back to Tyler and nodding for him to catch up. He looks to his roller skates and kneepads, funky helmet weighing him down and Josh--Josh is just flying free with his jacket and skateboard. He looks so… _free._ Without any care or anxiety about tomorrow's events or thinking about the past. He's thinking about  _now_ and only  _now._  

 

Tyler could use a mindset like that.

 

Tyler writes his thoughts on the board, erasing and trying his hardest to catch up. "You're so sweet, but so quiet!" Josh calls out, Tyler almost trips over the laces. He shrugs in response, hands in his pocket. "How long?" Josh stops, tipping the skateboard, kicking it up with his shoe. 

 

Tyler blinks twice, Josh purses his lips.

 

"How long have you had the whiteboard?" Josh opens a pack of bubblegum, Tyler shifts and counts on his fingers. 

 

_4_

 

_4 years._

  

"….good to know." Josh flings his arm around Tyler's shoulder, Tyler hunches over in response but grins impatiently.

 

Scrolling on the dashboard, the edits have surfaced already. Josh reblogs a few, Tyler sits behind him, quietly observing. He spoons ice cream, almost choking when something shows up on the dash.

 

 

"Good reception, I was more afraid of people shrieking and threatening to kill you." Josh laughs lightheartedly, Tyler's chest gets tight with a certain type of bubbling fear. 

 

"You wanna answer a few questions for 'em? I doubt they even know your name. I mean, it's up to you, man." Tyler shrugs, a smirk tugging at his lips.

 

_sure._

 

"...kay, so let's see question one." Josh scrolls the screen, flipping the camera. "Question 1 is for Tyler...are you on social media?"

 

_I've got club penguin and myspace? instagram is too much for me. too much drama. too much bullshit._

 

"Question 2, for both of us. What is a song that describes your life?…I gotta say…? Maybe, Under Pressure." He laughs to himself, Tyler squints and snickers.

 

_like a virgin._

 

Josh chokes on his gum. Tyler rubs his eyes, yawning but managing to stay awake. Then the night goes on and Tyler is is a hysterical mess by midnight when the live stream ends. Josh cracks his knuckles, pokes Tyler's cheek twice and manages to carry him to the couch with his whiteboard secured between his arms.

 

"I can tell you're gonna love this, Tyler." Josh mumbles to himself before stretching and flipping the remote.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUCKIN GOD I HAVENT WRITTEN IN SO LONG,
> 
> anyways, I'm alive and updating my fics regularly again


End file.
